JAE BUM!
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!

No, I’m not suicidal. 
No, I do not have a low self-esteem problem 
No, I do not want to go postal and extinguish random lives 
No, I do not have an urge to be violent 
and… NO, nothing is wrong! 
It’s just that I’m much more joyful [distinctly differs from happiness] when I die to myself and Christ living in me is evident. My life [technically, it's HIS] overflows at the brim when there’s minimal “me” and maximum ”Him”… so yeah, Jaebum, die. 
So, what does it mean to “die to myself” and to have Christ “live in me”?
It’s an uphill battle trying to empty myself of “me” but it shouldn’t be… because Christ gave us the power and freedom to do just that. I can only conclude then, that, the difficulty arises from my lack of “letting go” and “letting God”… in other words, I struggle with even wanting to change into what Christ intends for me to be. Ultimately, it’s my selfish desire to maintain control.
If you really want something… I mean, if you REALLY REALLY want something, you’ll make it happen. It WILL be a priority. …so if it doesn’t happen, did I really want it in the first place? Did I really want to become more Christ-like?
Let’s not speak Christianese to each other, but be real. Do you really have the DESIRE to change into His likeness? If you’re struggling to progress onward in transforming into His likeness… in the least, it’s related to how much you actually DESIRE for that metamorphosis. Paul said to “put on” your new self; “put on” is a conscious and intentional action and it requires that you “take off” your old self [also intentional].
There are no accidents in Christ. You don’t one day go, “OOPS! Looky! I’m more Christ-like!” 
So, Jaebum, pay attention to the desires of your heart and guard it ferociously. The heart is easily swayed by emotions and feelings… and the temptations that enter via my visual cortex. Trust in the truth of the Gospel and the Words that proceed from His HOLY lips.
Truth is my GPS.
Lord, live in me; saturate my insides with LIFE everlasting.
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