“It’s been a while since I wrote in xanga…”  LOL.
It’s such a cliche to write those words… Is it because I [and others] don’t know how else to start something that was long neglected, so we cop out with an overused phrase?
Other phrases like, “It’s been too long”… really?  Too long?  Why did you let things get to the point of “too long”?  LOL

I’ve been real busy and too lazy and/or forgot about writing in Xanga – that’s the truth. 
But I want to try writing more often and consistently, because it’s better than not doing it… because if I write about something valid, it’s worth the time.

We all know that’s it’s been a long time and we’d all [at least I'd hope] want to stay in touch with people… friends, pseudo friends, acquaintances… Why is it we have to say things like that when we all know that working and living keeps us preoccupied?  Anyways… random thoughts.

Tonight’s time of sharing and accountability with good Christian brothers found renewed energy in me.  The simple act of vocalizing your insides creates a different spin than rolling those thoughts around in your head alone.  We are social creatures after all…

I don’t know that you can find this kind of openness outside a support group of some sort [AA, grief counseling groups, etc.], because rare are the opportunities to peel away the layers. And when you do and you’re able to reach the core layers, several issues may be embedded, one of which relates to forgiveness.. rather, the lack of forgiveness and perhaps its twin, bitterness.  The inability to forgive – pride, disappointment, bad memories, and the list goes on… it’s one big dysfunctional get-together.

It’s an emotional stasis – that emotional injury freezes time until we can release it and heal… and then live again.  I realize we want vindication but it’s not necessary… I realized a few years ago, that it’s not even necessary for the other to ask my forgiveness… and it’s not by my power, but in relying on His.  All sins are against Him, not me.  All my sins are against Jesus alone and no one else… because He alone bore the sins of the world.

I’ve been complacent the last few months… indifferent to things that once held my interest.  I don’t know exactly how I get into this state or how to get out, but tonight, I received a hint… concern myself with others more than myself, starting with God – Matthew 6:33. 

…to be continued.