February 19, 2006
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Part of growing up [not necessarily growing old] forces us to make very difficult decisions, having to choose between two very good things… but one is good for you and the other is “best” for you; the difficulty lies in figuring out which is which. As a believer, I’d like to say that my faith would carry me through but truth be told, I am stifled by the decisions I will face this year. I don’t have to make those decisions just yet, but I’ll have to soon enough. God does have a tendency to reveal things at the last minute [not that I'm trying to formulate a prediction]
Where is the fine line of being too much “head” and not enough “heart” or too much heart and not enough head? I find myself working so much to attain my goals, yet in working so much, I am doing very little of what my heart desires [and is that because these are not God's desires?]. It’s frustrating the purpose of it all. Maybe it’s just the time to work my ARSE off again [in 2006] before He reveals the finality of this chapter.
A one-track mind with an affinity for laborious tasks… never ending it seems.
One thing is for sure, I will never be able to implement all the ideas that run through my head… and trying to is what’s killing me.
Why do I have these ideas then?
He’s calling me out, into the public, before men and women who can really hurt me… I mean, really hurt me… but He’s calling me to leave the comfortable oasis and into the desert heat and blistering sun.
A bit fearful, I’m looking forward to His leading… Am I vague enough?
Ever feel so comfortable that it gets old and you start to feel its very opposite?
I’m just all over the place… [weak smile]
Spreading thin… but,
tomorrow is a brand new day.
The sun rises promptly when it’s supposed to.
God is good! God is good! God is good!
GOOD!
GOOOOOOD!
Comments (6)
geeee………. I understand what your are going through even though I don’t know exacly what it is. Cuz I just started my senior year in college and it has been so hard …………. becuase I just need more hours in the day and so on. It is hard when you feel no one understand and gets that decisions are hard …………. and then when starting them if things will work out. All I can say my friend if the Lord brought you and me out of the nothing of this world he would not return us to that nothing ……………… he would want us to enjoy the ride. hehehheheh I totally get things are hard but don’t worry the Lord knows what is best and will point what is the right thing to do.
Stay blessed!
jaebum, i had unexpected “dong-sang”s visiting yesterday so I didn’t have a chance to talk to you … by the way, thank you for taking the time to come over and say ‘hi’ to them. My heart was filled with sadness and disappointment yesterday because no one (ever since I went into the fellowship hall, anyways) came over and said “welcome” or “hello” to them except you. For that, pr and I are grateful.
Anyways, I’ll call you sometime this week to talk.
Have a great week.
i got alot of respect for you and that thought process and some form of that goes for me as well.
just came by to say hi.. hope everything is going well for you .. god bless
Hey looky my friend Jon is taking a mission trip to Korea….
http://www.xanga.com/uwriteme
have a great weekend!