August 25, 2005
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Latest Updates from TizzyAlexander
For Women Only: V
The other day I went to see a movie with a girl friend. The movie was “Must Love Dogs” (which, by the way, I thought was awful, even though John Cusack was in it), and the audience was made up mostly of women and a few long-suffering men who came with their girlfriends, wearing that hagard expression that one takes while on sitting in the dentist’s chair. I leaned over to my friend and hissed, “Must Love Chick-Flicks!”
By definition, a chick-flick is a movie about love, romance, and all things sweet. There is usually a child or an animal in it, and the beautiful heroine always gets swept off her feet by the hero in the end. Also, by definition, women love it, but men would rather get a root-canal. Because, as we all know, women thrive on romance but men, romantic clods that they are, don’t.
Or so we thought. According to Feldhahn, 84% of men surveyed actively enjoy and desire romance. “According to (Feldhahn’s) findings, most men feel that they are secret romantics who–like most of us–don’t experience nearly as much intimacy (in a romantic, not sexual way) in their primary love relationship as they’d like.” (parantheses mine). Men want romance, just as much as women do. But here’s the burning question: Why don’t they do anything about it?
Because they are afraid of us. Feldhahn offers a list of very good insights, but in a nutshell, I think this sums it all up. Men would like to be more romantic, but they feel clumsy doing it, and are terrified that the women they are trying to please either do not appreciate their efforts, or will turn and laugh in their face. The women, meanwhile, fueled by romantic comedies, are standing there with a scorecard in hand:
He brought flowers. +1
They were clearly from Stop and Shop. -2
Opened car door. +1
Slammed it in my face. -1
Candlelit dinner +3
Set my hair on fire -10
etc
etc
etc
No wonder the men are nervous. As one man put it, “You tease me about not quite getting the candlelight dinner right, it’ll be five years before I try it again.”
So here’s a little experiment. Next time you are on a romantic date, put away that scorecard. Give him a +1 for everything he does. Smile and act easily pleased.
Perhaps then he might have the courage to sweep you off your feet.
Comments (4)
ha…well said, brother (scorecard–sounds deranged, but prolly true in a subconscious or for some, literal, form ^_^). it’s always fun to hear the other side of the story…^_^
re: communicating: this sister’s not keeping any scores; there is no obligation and there should be no guilt. i have no expectations of you.
i’m sure tae bo is better than an old guy hitting on me. hehehehe i’ll know who to come to if i need those videos.
the pressure, i didn’t even know. now i’m overwhelmed. aHHHH!
Personally speaking I feel that men find chick flicks to be shallow and void of mystery…..everytime I witness my “girlfriends” (friends that are girls) watch a chickflick I tell them exactly what’s going to happen and how it’s going to end and who’s going to be with whom! They just turn and say “shuddup! I know but I wanna watch the movie!” My only question is “why?”….I watched The Matrix because I didnt know what was going to happen, if they can know what happens in a chick-flick why would they bother watching it? To steal ideas and add more principals to love? If they want to watch to see the “stud” then say so, but I feel that if we have to tolerate superficial garbage then they should deal with our explosions and our kung fu! lol :yes: