August 25, 2005
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I’ve been thinking a lot about the desires of my heart… certain things are definitely placed there by God and others, not so sure. There’s a teaching that God places things into our hearts as desires because those are things He wants us to pursue… but how much can I trust my own heart?
Certain things are undeniably God’s desire in me… wanting to serve Him and His people… the desire and love of worship and seeking after His own Heart… the desire to do my best in the tasks He’s given me to do… even the desire to find the right partner in life that “we’d” be a reflection of all His goodness [hopefully] and fulfill His purpose through “us”…
Then there’s the desire to remain single, ONLY for the sake of having the freedom to come and go as He directs, as missions and ministry is a HUGE part of my heart’s desires, but I can’t claim that I have the “gift” of singlehood
I’ve been trying to sort out my desires from His desires; some of them actually align but others, not so much. I’m learning to feel comfortable wth the idea that it’s okay to pursue the things that I want, that is, as long as it doesn’t supercede His direction. It’s funny, but I feel guilty for wanting things for myself and accepting good things although I’ve worked hard for them. My mom is like that… and I always get frustrated with the way she gives more than she has to, even to the point of harming herself. I’m seeing myself do the exact same things… Do you ever get so ticked at yourself that you start yelling at yourself?
it needs to stop, only because I’m hurting myself. 
Someone once told me that it’s from a lack of loving oneself… maybe it’s more true than I’ve realized… I need to love myself more; not in the selfish way… for one cannot love others fully unless one learns to love oneself and is at peace with it. God knows… [weak smile]
Learning to be comfortable in my own skin, even when I do things for “me” sometimes…
God is good.
Comments (5)
Premium… nice… ;]
Wow so many things I want out of life …………….. my heart’s desire……….. but I have learned if it is so important to me it is the same for God. God cares so much to what is in your heart my friend……….. how cool is that? hehehehehe
I have two jobs and they both are at the university I attend and I am a full time student. One job I help professors with their on line courses and etc…. My second job I am a clerk…………. boring! hehehehehh but they are both cool.
Take care and God bless ya!!!!! :wave:
I heard from a sermon that God is most satisfied in us when we are most satisfied in him… He desires to pour down his blessing to his children.. I am sure that God wants to richly bless you because of your desire to please him.. May God bless you
ps: I luuuuvvv this song that;s playing
thank you. it was nice to meet you too! i wish we had more time to hang out. i told jungeun unni i’d have to go back to see seattle. hope to see you then!