August 21, 2005

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  For Women Only: Quatre
  
  I decided to skip posting on Feldhahn’s chapter on sex (you’ll just have to read the book) and almost decided to skip her chapter on girl-watching too. But I changed my mind. I’ll tell you why in a bit.
  
  Feldhahn points out that ALL men look at good-looking women (98% of those suveyed), and that this is normal and involuntary. Moreover, the compulsion is much stronger than most women know or can imagine.
  
  But Feldhahn doesn’t stop with labeling this as “normal” (i.e. wives, don’t freak out that you married a man with a roving eye). She acknowledges that lust of the eye is a sin (“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matt 5:8), but she points out that temptation is not sin–it’s what you do with the look that counts. Men can and do control their eyes and try to quench down bad thoughts, and so keep themselves from sinning. They may not be able not to want to look, but they can stop themselves from looking.
  
  But this book (and this post) was not written to teach men how to control their eyeballs. Tons of Christian books are written on that subject, by men, and for men. The application here is for women. Feldhahn’s main application is for married women, to help them understand their husbands’ struggles, so instead of being merely accusing, they can be supportive.
  
  But another one of her applications is to champion modesty in dress and action. And this is the reason I decided to post on this chapter.
  
  The other day, I saw a girl that made me do a major double take, for at first glance, she looked naked. But surely she cannot be naked in public! I looked again. On closer inspection, I realized she was wearing something that looked like a bathing suit that exposed her entire back. It was secured with a tiny string. When she turned around, I saw that the front of her shirt was a blushingly tight skimpy thing.
  
  And where was this girl? On the street? At the mall? No. She was at church (note: not at mine). And not only at church, but she was on stage reading the Scripture that day.
  
  After service, she approached the pastor and insisted on speaking to him at length. I felt sorry for the man. Where was the man to look? Nowhere was safe.
  
  So I want to put out a challenge here for all women. Please. PLEASE. PLEASE dress modestly, especially at church. When men turn to ooggle at a girl, we like to metaphorically whap them on the back of their heads and call them cads. But we cannot whap them if we ARE that girl.
  
  I am not advocating long loose grey dresses (not everyone looks good in grey), and I do like to dress up for church (never could manage jeans on a Sunday), but I am quite honestly ashamed at what some sisters wear in front of their Christian brothers, without realizing they are leading their brother into sin.
  
  Consider the words of Jesus:
  “And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.” Mark 9:42
  
  Serious words indeed! Time for some serious wardrobe upgrade!

  • 1:56 am
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