August 17, 2005

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  I’ll be posting some posts from an online friend, TizzyAlexander.  She did a great 3 part series.  …and well, it explains a lot, but I still need to work on not being such a workaholic.    and it’s technically for “ladies only” so read with discretion   Latest Updates from TizzyAlexander For Women Only (…About Men) So I recently decided to do some research on the “other” species, and picked up the book “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn. The subtitle of the book reads: “What you need to know about the inner lives of men.” As far as I can judge by postings such as the one by ToyShrimp, and by reviews online, this book really hits the nail on the head, and accurately describes the other species. The writer did a lot of research and conducted surveys and apparently discovered things about men that women in all the millenia since Eve have never been able to figure out. We live and learn. The irony of this is, of course, that there is a corresponding book out there called “Everything Men Know About Women” by Alan Francis. The only difference is that when you open the book (spoiler ahead!), the book is blank. (Get it?) For posterity, I thought I’d post a summary of what I’ve learned. (1) Men Need Respect Feldhahn writes, “Men would rather feel alone and unloved than inadequate and disrespected.” A similar statement, “If a man feels disrespected, he is going to feel unloved.” How does the stubborn species respect the other species? a) Respect his judgment (don’t always question or second guess) b) Respect his abilities (don’t assume he can’t do it) c) Respect in communication (don’t always tease him, be aware how what you say affects the way he feels) d) Respect in public (don’t tease or put him down in public, or behind his back) e) Respect in assumptions (don’t assume he needs to be reminded, that he’s choosing not to do something that you asked him to, that everything is HIS fault…it could be ours!) Feldhahn writes the book primarily for married women, but I see immediate application for single women, as putting down single men appears to be a national pastime for us. Things we can stop saying right now: 1) “Anything you can do, I can do better” 2) “OMG, that is SOOOO like a guy” 3) “Why don’t you stop for directions?” 4) “Are you sure you can do that?” or “Do you know how to do that?” 5) Any type of teasing in public or behind their back 6) “Men at my church are so immature, etc.” …to be continued

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