February 11, 2005
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In the moment of re-embracing a simple fact, growth took place and I grew up a little more: most other things are out of my control and the only thing I have a remote chance of controlling is myself.
It’s not even close to ALL of myself that I can control…
my emotions and feelings are self-dictating; I’m unable to direct its course…
my thoughts wander whenever it wants to…
my body gets out of shape faster than I can get it in shape…
my desires and wants…even those I’m unable to guide in the proper direction…
my human body will age and get weaker, even if I were to use BOTOX!
my world which I live in… will always go on, even without me…
So, what can I control? What should I try to control?
There’s this thing that was given to us… I tend to accept it when it’s favorable so I can take the credit and deny it when things go terribly wrong so I can blame anyone else but myself… but the truth is… there is nothing to my credit and all blame is on me. Thank God for salvation and the forgiveness of sins.
This thing is… this wonderful thing God gave us…
It’s called free will.
The only chance I have of controlling myself…is doing my best to make the right choices…
choosing to seek God’s face and not just answers to my questions…
choosing the places and situations I allow myself to be in…
choosing to think positively or negatively…
choosing the attitude with which I approach a brand new day…
choosing to work hard rather than choosing indifference or apathy…
choosing to lend a hand rather than looking on with spite…
choosing to be thankful rather than craving more for me me me
choosing…
choosing… that’s about all the control I have over my life and even then, it only works out for the best when I choose what God reveals to be best for me and more importantly, OTHERS… of course, that’s the hard part, trying to decipher God’s message amidst all of my thoughts and selfish desires, right? But God has always been and always will be… GRACIOUS. His GRACE is the sufficient enough answer for all my questions… so I can only hope that I am choosing wisely and according to what pleases Him.
