The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.

  – Sophocles

Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.

Oscar Wilde
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 – 1900)

JAE BUM!

DIE!  DIE!  DIE!  DIE!  DIE!  DIE!  DIE!  DIE!
DIE!  DIE!  DIE!  DIE!  DIE!  DIE!  DIE!  DIE!

No, I’m not suicidal.
No, I do not have a low self-esteem problem
No, I do not want to go postal and extinguish random lives
No, I do not have an urge to be violent
and… NO, nothing is wrong!

It’s just that I’m much more joyful [distinctly differs from happiness] when I die to myself and Christ living in me is evident.  My life [technically, it's HIS] overflows at the brim when there’s minimal “me” and maximum ”Him”… so yeah, Jaebum, die. 

So, what does it mean to “die to myself” and to have Christ “live in me”?

It’s an uphill battle trying to empty myself of “me” but it shouldn’t be… because Christ gave us the power and freedom to do just that.  I can only conclude then, that, the difficulty arises from my lack of “letting go” and “letting God”… in other words, I struggle with even wanting to change into what Christ intends for me to be.  Ultimately, it’s my selfish desire to maintain control.

If you really want something… I mean, if you REALLY REALLY want something, you’ll make it happen.  It WILL be a priority.  …so if it doesn’t happen, did I really want it in the first place?  Did I really want to become more Christ-like?

Let’s not speak Christianese to each other, but be real.  Do you really have the DESIRE to change into His likeness?  If you’re struggling to progress onward in transforming into His likeness… in the least, it’s related to how much you actually DESIRE for that metamorphosis.  Paul said to “put on” your new self; “put on” is a conscious and intentional action and it requires that you “take off” your old self [also intentional]. 

There are no accidents in Christ.  You don’t one day go, “OOPS!  Looky!  I’m more Christ-like!” 

So, Jaebum, pay attention to the desires of your heart and guard it ferociously.  The heart is easily swayed by emotions and feelings… and the temptations that enter via my visual cortex.  Trust in the truth of the Gospel and the Words that proceed from His HOLY lips. 

Truth is my GPS.

Lord, live in me; saturate my insides with LIFE everlasting.

Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.
  – PG Wodehouse

Everything takes time… growth, maturity and especially change.

Falling away from Christ doesn’t take much time; in fact, it’s instantaneous.  You are either in a right relationship with Him or you are not.  You are in a state of righteusness or a state of sinfulness; there is no gradual sliding away from God.  “Feeling” distant from God over time or having a hard time praying are just symptoms that arise after you have already fallen out of right relationship with Christ.  It just takes your conscience a while to catch up with your deprived spiritual state. 

You are instantly back in right relationship with Christ the moment of true repentance, and again, it may not “feel” like you are right with God… your conscience/mind takes time to realize you are right before Him again.  So, living the Christian life is not about what we “feel”, but by what we know – His Truth shall set  you free.

I think we forget the gravity of the sin nature [sin is sin], in that we have been set free from it and thus, have the freedom to not sin, but continue to allow its influence over us.  For the most part, our sinning as Believers is a conscious act – no different than looking Christ in the eyes while you’re sinning.  If you know what is right and don’t do it, it is sin.  It’s not legalism; it’s the Word of God, so use the freedom we’ve been given – choose to do right and tell the enemy to talk to the hand and kiss my arse. 

That’s what’s so amazing about grace… because it has no conditions except that you receive it freely, His gift of salvation and forgiveness of sins [the very thing that breaks our chains].

Ya’ dig?

* edit *

Thought I should note: these words are for my own conviction, but wanted to share it… if it helps, Praise.  If it doesn’t, Praise God.
God is good!

It is when we are in the valley, where we prove whether we will be the choice ones, that most of us turn back. We are not quite prepared for the bumps and bruises that must come if we are going to be turned into the shape of the vision. We have seen what we are not, and what God wants us to be, but are we willing to be battered into the shape of the vision to be used by God? The beatings will always come in the most common, everyday ways and through common, everyday people. [My Utmost for His Highest]